Lessons For A Lasting Marriage

 INTRODUCTION:

1                 Our text this morning addresses the importance of God’s people assembling together.

2                 I want to emphasize the importance of attending every service you possibly can. I cannot tell you how many times I have counseled people who have made terrible mistakes in their lives. As I set and think of what to say, I realize that I had taught a lesson on that very subject, but it was not in the morning assembly so they didn’t get to hear it.

3                 This morning we are going to talk about the first divinely appointed institution.

4                 God created three institutions

1)               The second one was Government.

2)               The third one was the church.

3)               What was the first one?  The family.

5                 Why the family first? It is the foundation for the other two.

6                 Arnold Toynbee. Of the 11 great civilizations that have come and gone one of the precursors of the fall of each was the decline of the family.

7                 It is obvious to even the casual observer that the institu­tion of marriage is in trouble in modern America.

8                 Divorce is rampant.

9                 Americans are getting over 1,000,000 divorces each year.

10              From 1870 to 1948 US population increased 300%.  Marriages increased 400% and divorce increased 2000%.

11              One of every two or three marriages will end in divorce.

12              We all know that it won't happen to us (ESPECIALLY IN OUR TEEN YEARS). But, if you are a teen-ager, the next time you are in a crowd of ten or more teens, look around the room and realize that statistically speaking, probably half of the 40% to 50% of the people in that circle will end up divorced. And YOU are part of that statistical base.

13              Most alarmingly, the recent statistics show that in most denominations, there is not statistically significant difference between the divorce rates among their members and the unchurched.

14              What can we do about this problem? I have a list of sugges­tions. WE will cover as many as time permits.

15              Our title is Lessons For A Lasting Marriage

DISCUSSION:

I.                We must learn that marriage is a permanent commitment to each other, before God.

A.              Expose Matt. 19.

B.              Remember your marriage vows?

John, do you take this woman to be your wife. Do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses that you will love her and com­fort her and keep her in sickness and in health and that forsaking all others for her alone, will you perform all the duties that a husband owes his wife so long as you both shall live?

RESPONSE: "I do."

Mary, do you take this man to be your husband? Do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses to love, honor and obey him, to comfort and keep him in sickness and health and that forsa­king all others for him alone will you perform all the duties that a wife owes a husband so long as you both shall live?

RESPONSE:  "I do."

I John take you Mary to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge you my faith.

I Mary   take you John   to by my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part, according to God's holy or­dinance, and thereto I pledge you my faith.

                    RING CEREMONY

John, do you have a token of your love and affec­tion for Mary?

RESPONSE: "Yes."

Repeat after me:

This ring I give you (a circle without end) as a token and a pledge, of our constant faith, and ever‑ abiding love. With this ring I thee wed, and with all my earthly goods, I thee endow.

Ladies and gentlemen it is with great pleas­ure that I present to you for the first time MR. & MRS. John Smith. What God hath joined together let not man put asunder.

II.              Learn to be unselfish.

A.              Selfishness is the greatest single curse in the modern marriage.

B.              Many can see no one but self.

C.               It is MY money, MY night out, MY friends, MY car and MY way to make ME happy.

D.              The sad thing about is the ME is not happy

"For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly..." (Rom. 12:3).

III.            Learn to submit to each other according to God's model for the home.

A.              Ephesians 5:21-32.

IV.           Learn to be courteous.

"Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers be tenderhearted, be courteous." (I Pet. 3:8).

A.              Are you as courteous to your mate as you are to complete strangers?

B.              Are you as courteous as you were BEFORE you were married?

C.              Do you interrupt your mate?

D.              Do you actually listen?

E.               What tone of voice do you use with your mate?

V.             Learn to serve.

A.              The role of a servant has been lost to our society (Matt:20:25-28).

(Mat 20:25-28 NIV)  Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. {26} Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, {27} and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-- {28} just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

VI.           Learn to resist Materialism.

A.              We live in a materialistic society.

B.              Our society has reached the point that many prefer:

1.               GOLD to GOD.

2.               THINGS to TRUTH.

3.               The newest GIMMICK to the old time GOSPEL.

Luke 12:13-21;  16:19-31; Matt. 19:16-22;

"Owe no one anything but to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. (Rom. 13:8).

(Mat 6:24 NIV)  "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

(1 Tim 6:6-10 NIV)  But godliness with contentment is great gain. {7} For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. {8} But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. {9} People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. {10} For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

VII.         Learn to render due benevolence to your mate.

(1 Cor 7:1-5 NIV)  Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. {2} But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. {3} The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. {4} The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. {5} Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

VIII.       Learn to avoid becoming involved with someone else. The danger is so great that it is not the kind of thing we should even be teasing each other about.

A.              Drink water from your own well

 (Prov 5:15-23 NIV)  Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. {16} Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? {17} Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. {18} May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. {19} A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. {20} Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife? {21} For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. {22} The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. {23} He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.

 (2 Tim 2:22 NIV)  Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

B.              The anatomy of an affair -- Dr. James Dobson.

1.               Problems arise in the marriage.

2.               Communication breaks down -- withdrawal.

3.               A friend enters the picture. Most often someone we have met at work or in a social setting on in a chat room or game room on the net

4.               They share time together on a regular basis.

5.               They begin to share affection seemingly innocent flirting.

6.               The person begins to share his marital problems with the new companion. They are both criticizing the mate.

7.               They begin  to seek more and more time with each other.

8.               The affair begins and becomes an obcession even to the destruction of the family.

IX.           Learn to cultivate the attributes of love set forth in I Cor. 13:1-8).

X.             Learn to communicate.

A.              Wives NAG and husbands DICTATE.

B.              Communication is a two way street that involves listening and non hurling speech from both parties.

(Col 4:6 NNAS)  Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

XI.           Learn to make Jesus Christ the center of your marriage.

A.              Unity in Christ.

(Mat 12:25 NIV)  Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.

(Psa 133:1 NKJV)  Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity!

B.              Study together.

C.              Pray Together.

D.              Worship together.

E.               Work together.

F.               Train children together.

G.              Spent time together.

CONCLUSION:

1                 If our marriages are to succeed, we must enter the institution understanding that it is a lifetime commitment.

2                 If we are to succeed in that commitment we will have to learn to (review points of sermon).                       

SERMON HISTORY: